The one with the bathing suit

Remember that time I posted a picture of myself in a bathing suit online? You can click the photo below in case you missed it.

Well I do because it was the best/scariest thing I have done for myself. If you’re new around here or haven’t been paying attention, let me catch you up. I have under-fed and over-exercised my body for the majority of my adult life. If there was a fad diet, I tried it, Weight Watchers, South Beach, Whole 30, Gluten Free, Clean Eating, Grain Free, at one point 2 of my meals consisted of vegetable juice. Each one promising and never satisfying my desire to feel good about myself.  About 2 years ago my body had enough and I started having some minor health problems but they quickly began to add up. I went to see a dietitian because I thought I needed her help to tell me what else I could eliminate from my diet. At that time I had created so many rules around food for myself that I was probably only eating about 10 foods that I deemed “safe”. She wisely directed me to Intuitive Eating and encouraged me to feed my body, to really tune into what my body was saying and what my rules were around food. When I started to really do the hard work of getting rid of food rules that I’d held for the last 10 years I began to find freedom like I’d never known before. Freedom in being able to give my body what it was craving but it also opened my eyes up to so many other rules I was following.

I was suffering from self imposed rules and expectations of others in food, clothing, my job, where I lived, you name it, I had a rule about it. I’m still unraveling it all in therapy like a big bowl of spaghetti. When we get to what I think is the end, another piece of spaghetti leads us down another path. So when summer came around this year, I told myself I wasn’t going to spend another one afraid of putting on a bathing suit. What I have learned is that the best way to get past your fears is to face them whether that is white bread or chub rub.

So @kellieblogs and I took these photos and I was uncomfortable to say the least but I knew it was something I had to do for myself. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to share them with anyone. But when I got them back I sobbed. Not because I hated them but because I loved them so much. I might have a larger body now but when I look back at pictures of myself in a smaller body, I can see in my eyes how miserable I was. I know that person was eating as little as possible, following impossible food rules and forcing herself to workout and never rest. I did it all under the guise of health but when I am really honest with myself, it was all an effort to make my body smaller. To live up to the standards of health that our society puts on us but especially women. In our society we are shown through media and other influences that there is only one acceptable body type. In reality we are created in all different shapes and sizes. We don’t expect all dogs to be chihuahuas and we shouldn’t expect all human bodies to look one way. When I look at these photos, I don’t even really see my body, I see how I felt on the inside and how much my body and I have been through these past few years. I see the peace that I have found and the fact that I’ve worked so hard to get here.

Admittedly, I have felt like a fraud these past few years, posting on social media and encouraging women to embrace themselves as they are while behind the scenes I struggled with my own self worth and acceptance. I kept waiting for this point in my journey where I would feel like I had arrived so that I could share my journey with you. But my therapist wisely pointed out, if you wait for that you will never share you story. Share the messy middle, that’s where people want to meet you because they are in the middle of their own mess. So if you’re struggling through these same things I want you to know that I am right there with you in trenches. Choosing to love myself in a world that constantly tells me to change. Choosing to accept my body as it is. Choosing to step into my story and choosing to invite you into yours as well.

Whenever I share something vulnerable like this I always wonder if there is anyone out there who can relate and then I get flooded with messages in my DMs and inbox. I cherish every one of them because it reminds me we are not alone in our struggles.  I’m going to share some resources that help me in my journey but just know, you are not alone and don’t hesitate to reach out to me too.

Help with body positivity:

The Body Love Society

Disordered Eating resources:

Finding Balance Inc  

Body Bloved

Podcasts:

Eating with Grace

The Body Love Society

Nutrition Matters

As always, I want you to know that you are worthy and deeply loved.

xoxo,

Tracy

 

How to style your Lola skirt

LuLaRoe Lola,

Let’s talk about how to style your Lola skirt!

LuLaRoe Lola, How to style your LuLaRoe Lola skirt

Happy Monday loves! Oh my goodness y’all! Thank you so much for all the love on my last post. I know y’all are my people because you GET IT! And even if you haven’t shared the same experience, you responded with such compassion and grace that it makes me just want to share more. This week though we are keeping it light and breezy, just like the Lola skirt. #seewhatididthere

LuLaRoe Lola, LuLaRoe Tracy Vazquez

Lola is realllllll cute and I always feel so feminine when I wear her.

She is our true midi skirt. You can’t really see it in the picture above because it was really windy the day we took photos but Lola hits about mid calf. If you didn’t know a midi skirt or a midi length garment is one that hits mid calf. Of course depending on your height that could vary. The Lola comes in both chiffon and lace fabrics and has an inner lining that is shorter. Lola also has a very wide elastic waist band and is meant to be worn right around your belly button.

LuLaRoe Lola, LuLaRoe Tracy Vazquez

I’ve been really digging pairing my skirts with the cropped top looks that are so in right now. The one in this photo is from Target’s new Universal Threads line.

But Lola also looks great paired with a Classic T, an Amy or your favorite graphic t for a more casual look.

Here are a few other ways I’ve styled Lola in the past.

LuLaRoe Lola

Paired with an Amy and Joy

LuLaRoe Lola  Paired with a Gigi top

LuLaRoe LolaPaired with a Gigi and Harvey

LuLaRoe Lola
photos by @kellieblogs

Graphic T and Shirley

LuLaRoe Lola

I’ll be going live tonight to give some styling tips and you’ll be able to shop them all week so be sure to check it out here.

LuLaRoe Lola

Remember you are worthy and deeply loved.

xoxo,

Tracy

Why going to the doctor is hard for me

LuLaRoe Ana

 

This post may seem like a huge departure from my normal posts but I think it’s one that’s super important. It’s about why going to the doctor is hard for me. You see, the more I change and grow as a person, the more my brand and this blog changes.

More than anything this is a place for me to get it all out there, to tell my story and to heal. I sometimes get this overwhelming urge to share something even if it maybe feels off topic, it isn’t because it’s all part of this journey of self love and acceptance. And it’s part of who I am.

 

LuLaRoe Ana
photo by @kellieblogs

Why going to the doctor is hard for me.

It all started about 8 years ago, I went in for a yearly physical, blood work etc. At that time I was pretty intensely into Weight Watchers which for me meant severely restricting my calories plus training for a half marathon because I had to get those activity points in. I remember thinking that week, I can’t physically eat any less than I am already eating. Plus on top of that I was doing pretty significant mileage in training. 3-5 miles 4-5 times a week.

That’s a lot to put your body through especially when you aren’t adequately feeding it what it needs. But I was doing what I thought was taking care of my body. I had blood taken at a previous appointment so this was just the one where they go over your test results. The doctor came back in the room and said all of your blood work looks great, all of your tests came back within normal range except one thing, according to our BMI charts your BMI is too high. Have you thought about losing some weight?

Crushed, defeated, misunderstood, all feelings that were running through my mind. What I didn’t know then but I know now is that I was suffering from disordered eating. (You can read more about disordered eating here) There is a stigma in our culture about what an eating disorder looks like, an emaciated white girl who can’t eat or a girl who eats everything in the fridge and then goes to the bathroom to purge.

I didn’t know there were so many other diagnoses on and off the spectrum.

What my doctor also didn’t know at the time was that I was eating so little that my thoughts were constantly consumed with food. I would portion out the exact amount of food I was *allowed* to eat and then sit down for my meal. God forbid my husband try to sneak a piece of food off my plate, I would basically want to break his finger. I felt like an animal in the wild who was perched over their prey when another animal tried to get near their food, they snap. As crazy as that seems, this was my body’s natural reaction to deprivation.

What I also didn’t know then was I was starving myself…

…in order to fit into a very narrow standard of health.So when the doctor told me I needed to lose weight, I just lost it, right there in the exam room with her. Through tears I said, I don’t know how. She didn’t ask what my food intake looked liked, my exercise level, my stress, my sleeping habits, my self-care routine, my mental state, what my social life looked like, nothing. She was simply judging my health based on a number on the scale and a chart on the wall.

She continued on with the standard, just eat right and exercise. Well that’s what I’ve been doing I said, and her response was well just try harder. There it was, I would never live up, I would never measure up, no matter how hard I tried. That appointment and her words have been something I thought about every single day since. Doctors take a do no harm oath and in her defense I think she was doing what she thought was helping but in actuality it set me up for a lifetime of weight stigma, body image issues and so much more. Add to that the fact that every infertility specialist with the exception of our current one has advised me to lose weight to help us get pregnant. I have been given very few other options beyond that but that’s a whole other blog post for another time.

LuLaRoe Ana

Now through therapy I am able to see so many things that happened that day and leading up to that day were not my fault. But given my experience I avoid going to the doctor, even when I’m sick. I refuse to go to a GP because they have a scale so I end up getting half rate care at the minute clinic and do you know why I go there? They don’t have a scale and they never ask for my weight. But this past month I was forced to deal with my fears.

I got sick and not like the get some rest and drink tea kind but the kind where you actually need the good drugs. I let it go on for weeks because I didn’t want to go to the actual doctor and face my fears. I ended up feeling so badly though that I just gave in and went to the doctor. I walked in and there it was, the moment I had been dreading. “If you’ll just step on the scale for me”, the nurse said. Shakily I asked, “is it medically necessary for you to get my weight for today’s visit?” She smiled, “no, it’s not. You have the right to refuse”.

Relief ran through my body.

Yes, I would like to refuse. And just like that we were on to the next thing and talking about my symptoms and the reason for my visit. I guess more than anything, I want to share my experience with you so that you know that you have the right to refuse being weighed at the doctor. For years, I didn’t know that it was an option until my therapist informed me of my patient rights. I mean obviously there are times when getting your weight is medically necessary like when determining how much medication to give etc. Even if they do have to weigh you, you can step on the scale backward and ask not to be told your weight. This is what I do at the new infertility practice I am going to, there is a note on my file to not tell me my weight. I found out the hard way though, it’s always a good idea to remind them with each visit. Even if there is a note, they don’t always see it. It’s empowering to speak up for yourself and your rights. It’s also a radical act of self care.

I want you to know that you are worthy and deeply loved and a number on the scale will not change that.

xoxo
Tracy

How to style your LuLaRoe Madison skirt

How to style your LuLaRoe Madison

Y’all as I’m typing this the snow is coming down outside but for the love of cheese and grits, it is March and I’m going to show you how to style your Madison skirt because I’m ready for skirt weather. Especially skirts with pockets.

Who’s with me? This week in the shop I’m featuring the Madison. I just got some amazing new prints in and I can’t wait to show them to y’all.

How to style your LuLaRoe Madison

True story, the Madison was the first LuLaRoe skirt I ever bought. A skirt with pockets will get me every time. The Madison has pockets and box pleats just like the Amelia dress. Actually, the Madison is the bottom half of the Amelia dress. The waistband is meant to be worn right around your belly button.

How to style the LuLaRoe Madison skirt

As far as what shirts to wear with it, the Gigi is my go-to because it’s so easy to tuck in. I also love it with a Randy tucked in.

How to style the LuLaRoe Madison

If you’re wanting a new twist on how to wear your Madison try it with an Amy knotted in the center. I unbuttoned the bottom button and tied the two flaps together.

How to style the LuLaRoe Madison

I had the {perfect} Perfect T to go with this Madison so I figured out a way to turn my Perfect T into a fitted t.

How to style your LuLaRoe Perfect T

It’s also fun to put a cropped shirt over the Madison instead of tucking it in. I’m loving this look as cropped tops are in right now. This fun one is from Target.

How to style the LuLaRoe Madison

If you’re looking to add a Madison to your wardrobe be sure to check out the shop this week. I’ll be selling live twice and then wall dropping Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

photos by @kelliblogs

I can’t wait for you to fall in love with Madison for the first time or all over again. Thanks for stopping by.

Remember you are worthy and deeply loved.

xoxo,

Tracy

P.S. Want to get styled just click here: http://tracyvazquez.com/personalstyling/ and check out the different packages we offer. It’s so much fun!

6 ways to style The Amy

How to style The Amy, 6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

How to style The Amy, 6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

Y’all Amy is here! I’ve welcomed her into the shop with open arms. Okay full disclosure, I was a little intimidated at first by the sleeves and the blousey-ness. I wasn’t quite sure I could pull it off. BUT oh my word,  I’m so glad that I tried her. Once I started to style her, I realized her versatility and there isn’t much I love more than being able to wear something multiple ways. So let’s talk about her, she has buttons and a collar, obviously. Amy is more of a cropped cut which is a huge departure from our more traditional longer tops. It is super on trend and I’m loving it. The sleeve is a dolman sleeve which means it’s a lot wider. The more traditional sleeve has a defined place for your armpit, the dolman top is really wide and just sort of blends in with the side of the shirt. That’s not an official definition but that’s the best way I can describe it.

6 ways to style the LuLaRoe AmyFirst of all, can we have a moment for this pattern. It is life. Okay now that we have established that, let’s talk about the first way to style the Amy. I tied it over an Amelia. I am normally an XL in tops but I am recommending for general sizing to size down 1 from your regular shirt size. I think I would have preferred to size down 2 for pairing over dresses and skirts. I’ll show you a M with the next look and I like that it is more fitted. Like with all things LuLaRoe, I always encourage you to shop for the pattern, not the size.  So to recap, size down 1 from your normal size for a good length and fit, size down 2 for a more fitted and cropped fit. 6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

This Amy is a M, I sized down because #theseflorals. I tucked it into my Lola and I also flipped the band of the Lola inside because the color didn’t quite go with the colors in the Amy. Did you know that you can do that with the Lola and the Jill? It’s one of my favorite hacks. I still felt like I needed to define my waist though so I added a fun bow belt. Then threw on a Joy and voila.

6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

Can we talk about these mules too? I’m obsessed, going to be on major repeat this spring.

6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

I’m not sure how you feel about mustard but I’m pretty sure I need it all in my life. This Amy is a L but I think a M would have been more fitted for pairing over the Madison. Again though, this pattern is amazing so I’m going with it. 6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

The way I feel about mustard is the same way I feel about Aztec prints…I need them all…kthanksbye

6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

For this look I sized down to a S in the Amy, I left it open and paired it with a Maria. 6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

For the next Amy look, I paired it with a killer Sarah and my first Jill skirt. The Jill is going to be huge this spring. For tying a knot with the Amy to pair over dresses or skirts. I unbutton the bottom two buttons of the shirt and tie those flaps together. This Amy is also a L.  6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

Did you catch that pop of leopard? Y’all I know I wear leopard like a neutral. Going to have to wear this whole outfit on repeat. #sorrynotsorry

6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

I saved my favorite look for last. To be honest, I’m just as surprised as you are that this is my favorite way to style The Amy. This Amy is a L and I love how that size pairs with jeans. This is one size down from my normal top size. I tried the M on with jeans but it was a little too cropped for my taste, one hand raise and you’d be seeing everything. So size down one for this look. Jeans + The Amy are a match made in heaven.

6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

I bought this red belt at Target a few week ago because red is making a comeback. When this Amy came in I knew I had to find a way to pair them together. Enter the half tuck. I never thought I could pull off the half tuck until Amy. And now I’m like can’t stop won’t stop. #halftuckforlife

6 ways to style the Amy
photos by @kellieblogs

Which look is your favorite?6 ways to style the LuLaRoe Amy

If you’re looking to get your hands on an Amy, I’ll be featuring her all week long. Live sales are Tuesday at 12pm EST and Wednesday at 8pm EST. Look out for wall drops Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Join the fun here

Thanks for stopping by, I want you to remember you are worthy and deeply loved,

xoxo,

Tracy

How to style your LuLaRoe Jill

How to style the LuLaRoe Jill by Tracy Vazquez

 

How to style the LuLaRoe Jill by Tracy Vazquez
The pleats on the Jill add such great detail

 

Have you ever put on a skirt and just felt the urge to twirl like you did when you were a little girl? That’s how the Jill makes me feel. No matter the pattern, the feel of the skirt just makes me feel super feminine. Like all of our skirts, the Jill is meant to be worn a little higher waisted, like right around the belly button. Depending on the color of the waistband it can be hard to style it so I love that you have the option of turning the waistband in. Then you have more choices when it comes to a top to pair it with. When you do this, it also makes the skirt shorter which is good if you’re on the shorter side as the Jill can be a little long on you.

How to style your LuLaRoe Jill by Tracy Vazquez
add a pop of leopard

 

I love putting a leopard belt with my Jills. Not only is leopard a neutral but it helps to define that waistline which is super flattering. I usually have a Classic T tucked in and then add accessories or layers as needed. I always apply the rule of 3 when getting dressed. The rule of 3, if you read my post on LuLaRoe Denim you’ll remember that you want to dress in odd numbers. So if I have on a Jill and a Classic T I will want to add a scarf or a jacket or a big statement jewelry piece. If you want to really step it up, try a Jill, a Classic T, a jacket, a scarf and a pair of statement earrings. I’ve been loving these.

LuLaRoe Jill
How to style your LuLaRoe Jill

Can we also talk about the pleats? They are so on trend right now, I promise you’ll see them a ton this holiday season. I’ve seen similar skirts to the Jill at high end retailers for over $100. These pleats are set by hand and they add such great texture to the skirt.

How to style the LuLaRoe Jill by Tracy Vazquez
The pleats on the Jill add such great detail
How to style the LuLaRoe Jill by Tracy Vazquez
Fun and Flirty
How to style the LuLaRoe Jill by Tracy Vazquez
photos by @kellieblogs

If you’re looking to shop Jill skirts, I will have outfits live in my shop tonight. Click the link to join.

Remember, you are worthy and you are loved just the way you are.

xoxo

Tracy

Working from home: 6 things I’ve learned

Well we are 6 months in to working from home

6 months into being my own boss.

6 months into setting my own schedule.

And 6 months in to the scariest best thing I have ever done.

Do I have it all figured out? Heck no! But I have learned a thing or two.

1. Setting a bed time is hard

Like I kinda already knew that from when I was teaching and had to be up 5:30AM but that was hard because I had to go to bed at 9pm in order to get a decent night’s sleep. Not having a start time means it’s hard to go to bed at a set hour. I could start work at 10AM and work until 10PM. So you see my dilemma.

2. Health Insurance

I feel so adult saying this but health insurance man, it’s not cheap and it’s not good. I started out just paying Cobra but it’s literally like a mortgage payment. I wanted to cry every time we paid the bill. I could add on to my husband’s plan but that is also tricky since it makes his premiums go up. So we settled on a healthcare sharing company.

3. Work-life balance

I mean this is a hard one for many people working from home or not but these seems especially hard on the weeks when hubby travels. Thankfully I do love what I do but I have to be careful to guard time for just us.

4. PJs all day

I mean hello, my job is fashion but sometimes I stay in pjs all day and I won’t apologize for it. Other days I stay in work out clothes all day and forget to shower. And then when I really have my ish together I put on an Amelia to go to Target. You win some, you lose some

5. Thinking thoughts

Since I’m not worried about going a million miles an hour at school and then rush home to do LuLaRoe, I actually have time to think thoughts. Y’all it’s been years since I was alone with my thoughts and you know what? I actually have some good ones. And you’re about to read all of them in this blog.

6. The hustle is real

I drink my coffee out of a mug that says hustle but in all seriousness if I don’t work, I don’t get paid. I have always had a salary so this is a huge change for me but not necessarily a bad thing. Every day I bet on myself and that has given me more confidence than having a salary ever could.

What about you? Have you always thought working from home would be a dream? Do you work from home already? Do you have any tips for me?

 

PS- working from home means I have a pretty cute co-worker

Guess who’s back?

Back again…Tracy’s back…tell a friend.

Well hey there, if you’re new around here welcome. If you’ve been following along for a while now, you’ll know this is not my first rodeo or blog.

Before I get ahead of myself, let me go back to where it all began.

About 5 years ago now I started posting my outfits on Instagram, back then I was known as Ruffle Tuesday because I wore ruffles on Tuesday, duh. It started as a joke between my bestie and her roommate when they both wore ruffles on a Tuesday and just kind of became a thing. I soon began posting my ootd which was literally what I wore teaching that day. I graduated from mirror selfies to having my TA take my photos outside of school during my planning period. My posts connected me with some of the most amazing women whom I consider dear friends. Let’s be real, when you grow up, it’s just plain hard to find friends. I always joked that Instagram was like online dating, but for friends.

Posting my outfits also gave me a creative outlet. Fashion has always been something I’ve loved. Just ask my parents and my husband, I’m infamous for shoving so much in my closet that I break the closet bars. Whoops, my bad. Over the last few years though, it has turned into a passion. That passion has taken many different channels but most recently that has been LuLaRoe. I’ll go more into depth on that in another post but among other things it has allowed me to quit my teaching job. I get to wake up every day and do what I love, what I feel like I have been destined to do.

So why another blog? Instagram has changed, I have changed, fashion has changed. I wanted a place to tell my story. So what you can expect to find here? First and foremost cute clothes because that’s what I do {hair flip} but also I want women just like you to know that you are enough and that you are worthy. I hope you’ll stick around because I’m sure you’ll find that we are just alike.